Is Nick Smarter Than a 5th Grader - Dinner Plus Drinks #89

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey Bridget, do you think I should pull up the up the outline for this episode, or just should we wing it?

SPEAKER_02 0:05

You want to give me a heads up that we're starting before we start? Well, here we are, guys.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Here we are. Not ready at all. But that's kind of what this holiday feels like. It's Labor Day. I'm just not ready for it.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

I should have plans. I know I'm surprised. Usually you're like setting up a big something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

I have some pallets set aside for myself to burn, and that's about it.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

It's gonna rain, so you might want to put those somewhere dry. Did you see outside when you pulled in the driveway? It was sprinkling on us. I was like, ooh, I need an umbrella so it's not pouring on me.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Well, let's play the intro music and I'm gonna pull up the outline. Well, everybody, welcome to Dinner Plus Drinks. New episode, Labor Day Fun. Here we are. And we have our outlines open and we're prepared now.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Kind of, we're mildly prepared.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I brought over three drinks that you were very interested in when you saw the cans. The cans are appealing. So I'm very interested in what you think of these drinks because it's a it's a lot of varying factors. Beautiful labels.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Um, creative labels.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

They're called Great South Bay. They're from New York, so not local. Usually you're a drink local person.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

I try to, but it's not always the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

They have like comic book panels illustrators.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

They look like a graphic novel, which really I thought they were cool because I haven't seen something like this as much. And I thought Tyler would and Elliot honestly would think they're cool, but Elliot don't drink yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

These are alcoholic. We have a tipsy lemonade, a tipsy tea, and a tipsy punch. And you said, Oh, that kind of sounds good. And then what did you say? It's gonna hurt my stomach immediately.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

So let's see Great South Bay.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

I also like it's not really clear what it is to me.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Like, well, if you read if you read the small print, it says malt beverage brewed with natural flavors.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

What even is a malt beverage?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

All I think of when I think Was that a rhetorical question, or are you interested?

SPEAKER_02 2:11

I'm not actually interested in the science behind it, but all I think of is Mickeys. That's like in college, people drink Mickeys.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

This is the lemonade.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Smells girls. You know what? It's kind of like the watered down hand squeezed lemonade at the fair.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Oh, yeah, I kind of like it actually.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

But yeah, totally. It's gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

It's very lightly flavored.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

I like it.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

And there's a lot of sugar. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Except, yeah, for sure, this is like a 15-year-old person to drink. It's like a it's like a modern-day smear-noff ice.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

It really is. I just think of the fair when they they squeeze the lemons and then they take like a huge heaping spoonful of pure white sugar and just dump it in. That's what it tastes like. I just made pure white sugar.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Like the packet of Kool-Aid for the first time ever. Oh, you drink faster than me. This is pot.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

This is iced tea.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

I still got a whole nother sip left, man. Wow. This is Tyler and I have this discussion every time he has a beer. I'm like three sips in and he's done.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

I like this tea. Do you like black tea? You don't like black tea. I like some raspberry in my tea. This tastes like real iced tea. Like you make your tea and you ice it down. Like it's got good tea flavor.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Yeah, it's hard after the lemonade because the lemonade was so sweet. Yeah, these are pretty good. I wouldn't drink this because it tastes it tastes like um yeah, mix it make an Arnie Palmer. Um, it tastes like uh the tea bag got left in just a touch too long today.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

See, I like that. Oh yuck! Oh, that's when it gets bitter. We have now, oh yeah, it's delicious. Ewah! Like the tears of the padwans that Anakin Skywalker murdered. They're tears, delicious.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Oh my god. I hate I love peppermint tea. That's like my nightly thing. And it it gets so bitter so quickly if you leave it.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

It's very good as we combine the lemonade and the iced tea to make an iron polymer, but you know, you palmer do not drink the alcohol. It is very good.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Yeah, I mean, these are more dangerous than any weird seltzer because these taste like they have no alcohol in them to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

And then the one I'm most excited for, fruit punch.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

One time when I was little, I threw up Hawaiian punch, fruit punch all over the blue carpet that was in my room. And I'll never get over it.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Fluorescent pink.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

It makes me flash right back to that.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

We gave Simona a juice box the other day that we thought was apple juice, and it ended up being fruit punch. And Sarah and I took that one and drank it ourselves and gave her the apple juice one because we wanted the fruit punch.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Ooh. This tastes like a whop from a frat party.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, this one doesn't quite hit the fruit punch flavor the way I wanted it.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Oh no, it does. This tastes like, you know, when you're at the frat party and they buy the gallon jugs of like whatever brightly colored juice is 79 cents per gallon or whatever. That's what it reminds me of.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Did it work for you? The frat boys trying to impress you? Did they impress you?

SPEAKER_02 4:59

It was like the late name of Frat Boys, so like it was we knew everybody in the frat, but it was great. Yeah, we loved going to parties there.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Well, with that, I'm gonna keep sipping on some of the fruit punch, even though it's not quite hitting the spot. Um feel free to sip away on whatever. Great South Bay. Overall, I like hard what are they called? Malt beverage, tipsy lemonade, tipsy tea, and tipsy punch.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

All right.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Three and a half out of five for me. I would give it a four out of five.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Wow. Nothing made me want to go. I would still only probably drink one of them before my stomach wanted to fall apart. But that's because I'm old, everybody. You have some exciting news.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Breaking news to share with everybody that has been following along.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

It's actually a week late, but it's still exciting because there's been an update. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

I suppose we should apologize for our screw up last week with Didn't we publish that? I really mean we publish that? We should acknowledge it again. Nick screwed up and didn't record the audio, so I apologize.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

So last week started with a super exciting announcement that the nugget has been ordered. The nugget. So if you've been following along, you know this has been a very stressful moment for me. Um, trying to get ahead of the Christmas rush and get my uh order in for this for my kids, because of course last year they were sold out everywhere and we weren't really committed to it. But they came out with two new colors, and that finally made my decision about the colors. So we ordered the willow nugget. And since last week, the update is it has been shipped. I'm having it shipped to my parents' house so it can hide there. I apparently have to take it out of the box like immediately. Your warranty is voided if you don't take it out of the box, your warranty is voided. So the nugget is on its way. It's willow green, it's beautiful. I'm so excited about it.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

In a little bit of one-upmanship slash scene influenced, Sarah. When Bridget made the decision to go with the nug, she acted decisively and purchased a nug for her office. Uh, she has some things coming up that she's gonna have to work overnight. So having a little futani type of thing in there is a big positive. And we went with Mayberry in color, a modern moive.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Yeah, this is a nice. If I only had one girl, I would have done this. I want you to only have one girl. I'm sorry. If I only had one kid, that was a girl. The pink one I wanted is gone. The limited edition. If I get a second one, I will get like a pinky one anyway. The nugs. And they're arriving, I think. Pretty I think Nick will have his first, and then I have to hide my kids from his house forever so they don't see it till Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

I or you could just tease them and be like, I don't know. If you want one of those, you gotta be good. Santa Claus only visits the good boys and girls. Just kidding me.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Mom, mom, mom, I want one, mom. Well, you gotta be good. No, no, no, no. We're not there yet. Mom, is it Christmas yet? Mom. Does it say December 25th?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Christmas is December 25th. Here's a calendar.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Read it. Um also it's the Walworth County Fair.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Oh, it is the Wallworth County Fair. You're not like a huge fair person. It's always been work for me. So, like, it's a challenge, and there the the there's there's some things around work and the Walworth County Fair that make it stressful for me. Let me just say it's stressful. It's still stressful. Oh, we still have all these animals coming that we don't know the people.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

But like, you know, you don't have to drop off brats.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

I don't have to drop off brats, thank God. Previous years I had to be up there at like eight o'clock every morning. And so the Walworth County Fairgrounds have theoretically two-way streets going up and down. No way. They are a lane and a half, and it's commercial vehicles everywhere, and then you know And it's chaos. There's no rules. Even at eight in the morning, when people aren't supposed to be there, just vendors, there are the old folk there that are just one and around. And it's like, hey lady, um could you like stop waddling down the middle of the street and get out of my way?

SPEAKER_02 8:50

It it's like that during project drop-off, too, because my mom I went with when she was dropping off her project, and there's no rules. Like, it is just drive wherever you want, hopefully you don't hit each other, have a nice day.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

We were talking about the Lake Geneva Country meets parking lot, needs white arrows. Yeah. You know, in the at the start of COVID when Walmart did the one-way aisles, I kind of liked it because I didn't like Yeah, but no one listened, and that drove me nuts. I know that drove me nuts too. Maybe the Walworth County Fair should have one-way aisles so that you know, people don't keep running into each other. It's so stressful.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

They added alcohol this year, and I'm really anxious about it.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

I'm anxious about it as well. I I understand the decision. I I probably would have made the decision too, uh, for the financial thing of the fair. But as a fairgoer, it makes me sad because it was just as much as I enjoy drinking heavily, frequently, everywhere. Oh, yeah. That was like the one place where, you know, church. You go and you drink at church. You don't have to worry about that. But the fair is like, this is no no.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

It takes away the the I was discussing with my father-in-law who does not like the fair, and I was like determined to make him like the fair. And then I ultimately discovered like you don't have the same feelings about it because to me, the fair is my childhood. Like, I've been going to the fair since I was five, and I was in 4-H and all that crap.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

So when I was a child, my grandma hauled me around every damn county fair and uh Oh, but I don't go to any other county fairs. I went to Kenosha, Racine, McHenry, Lake, Walworth, and then we'd go to uh Boone County occasionally.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Uh I don't even know where Boone County is. Um but somewhere down that way. We went to one, my mom and Elliot and I went to one a couple years ago, like maybe McHenry County, something just it was like something to do. And it yeah, Walworth County Fair is way better than I don't know what to say. So anyway, we love the fair, it's fair time.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

I have a lot of stress in my life right now. That is irrational.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Because on Monday you could have gone to the fair, but instead you're doing something else.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

So I run the wine department at Lake Geneva Country Meets. Did you? And it's a passion of mine. And one of the things that drives me nuts, I like organization, I like a system, and I like having the set of my wine reflect consumer preferences, also little, you know, nick like, hey, this is what I like, you should try it. Um, you know, some esotericism, but also be commercially on point and consumer taste change. So like every two years you kind of have to reorganize things. Uh that didn't happen over COVID. We have a small space, limited shelf space. So I can't just go and do the Costco approach, or not Costco, like total wine and have everything. Uh so it's a lot of, you know, like compromise and trade-offs. And so the last month, I was I was looking at some sales numbers for some stuff, and there's been some big changes of what we sell and what doesn't sell, and I really should reflect that and and and also trends in the market. So I decided to um to do a reset. And uh I decided I'm gonna do it on Monday when we're close.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

And you're gonna do it like in a week. Like this whole thing, I feel like was.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Well, it's been bothering me. Like it's in the back of my head, it's been bothering me, and now it's at the point where it's really bothering me. Like really just physically giving me a twitch that I want this done because I I figured out how I want to move everything, and now that like I have it in my head, I just want it done, and I want to like know if it works or not, and I just I just want it done. Every time I see Nick, he's on a phone call about the wine something. I just want it done. I don't know. Do you have things like that when you're like, okay, I thought about it, I thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

Now I know I need to do it, and but then I'm like, I don't have time to do it.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

I just I want it done. My kid still snaps, so I can go do it during nap time.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Oh yeah. You're gonna finish it all in the length of her nap?

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Well, this is a pretty small reset. It's not, especially with the store empty. I can like take everybody's carts, use everybody's tables.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

That's always the thing.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

I can, you know, blare some acid jazz. You know, the thing that motivates all of us.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Gonna be great. Um, but the world right now. Yeah, so we try and keep this new news section upbeat.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

I have a lot of upbeat stuff because I took this as a personal challenge to find up beats.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

So all I did was want to passive aggressively remind you that the things that are going on in the world, especially to women's bodies right now, is unbelievable. So instead, I'm gonna tell you about a really cool, super rad grandma.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

If you want $10,000, I have a job for you.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

We're not gonna talk about anything depressing here. I'm just gonna tell you about a 9-day-year-old grandmother from Valencia, Spain.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

So I can I actually just took a bike ride on my Peloton in Valencia.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Okay, that's the same as this. Oh, yeah, we haven't had a Peloton update in a while. It's great.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Love my Peloton.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Glad to know you're getting your money as right out of your Pelot Plaza.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

One's in Valencia.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Right. So this grandma, um, you know, I can design something in Illustrator or Photoshop. Not really, it's not meant to design things more fix things, but I could also use my Apple pencil. But this grandma is a badass, like so many women, because she made amazing works of art in MS Paint. Do you remember paint? Wow. I remember not even be able to like draw a circle. I know, it's so hard. And so, like, now you have the Apple pencil, you can do amazing things. No, no, she didn't do any of that. Um, her husband got sick, and so she needed to take care of him. She couldn't go out as off as often. Um, so she tried to take some art classes at a local senior center in some of her free time, but um, she couldn't practice at home because of the smell of the paint. It bothered her um sick husband. So she discovered MS paint um from a computer that her husband and children gave her 12 years prior. So she's working on a 12-year-old computer, and she says, self-proclaimed, that she has no imagination at all, but she takes images from postcards that her husband used to send her. So this lady is staying home, you know, taking care of her aging husband, and then taking postcards, so poetic, that he used to send her, and she's drawing them on MS Paint. And we're gonna put a link to this article because these are damn good. Yeah, and like I can't draw a circle in paint, okay? So she has amuse like amazing scenery. Again, they're from postcards. So, like, this looks like Greece, and it I can tell it's grease from uh from her ceiling. Yeah, so anyway, we'll post them. Thought it was a great story about a pay here to do this. Yeah, I mean or Lake Geneva Country Meets. Ooh. She's 90. I hope she's kicking for a few years to come, and maybe we'll have her do one for us. Let's just send her a postcard.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Yeah, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Let's go take a picture of the building. Send a postcard. There we go. See, great news all around.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

All right, so I looked really hard and I actually found five really good news stories I wanted to share with you. They're all five good news stories. So the first one comes from uh Moss I and it's about an 18-year-old kid who was growing up at a farm, got bored of the farm life. His uh he had to grow up with his aunt and uncle, it's very tragic. Um, and he decided to leave the farm and go off and venture into the galaxy and learn about his heritage and fight the evil empire. And he became a fighter pilot. He became a fighter pilot and destroyed the evil empire's brand new super weapon with a proton torpedo.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

And I was just like I do not want to hear your stupid news stories.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Good luck on you, Luke. I am so happy for you. So I that really cheered me up when he blew up the the evil empire's super weapon.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Are you gonna tell me about four more stupid movies?

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Well, another one, this one's a little bit more it comes from the Shire. This one comes from the Shire, and one of the smallest among us, his name's Frodo, he went on a journey with companions, which I think it illustrates the value of friendship. Even in evil times when the great eye, the great evil eye is watching all over all of us, you can set out with your friends and accomplish great things. And he carried this ring that was the evil ring all the way to the mountain of doom, and with the help of his loyal gardener, we all need gardeners, plants make us happy. We know that. Got rid of the ring and got rid of the evil eye and made Earth, Middle Earth, in fact, better.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

This sounds as fascinating as the movie was.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

I got I got another one that's this one's from Britain, so I think you might like this one more. And you might relate to this one. So this one, um, kid in his last year of school, seventh year of school, decided to skip the last year of school and instead go off the grid camping around all of Britain, looking for, you know, find himself, stay out of the trouble, all that type of stuff. But eventually he learned you can't run from your troubles and confronted the evil person all by himself. And Harry then went confronted him, defeated the evil one, married his high school sweetheart, named a kid after the teacher that he thought was being mean to him, but actually was just teaching him life lessons. They have like three kids, Harry and her or Ginny. Oh my god, I haven't seen a Harry Potter movie in a very long time. I found one from Africa. It uh really spoke to me.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Is this are we talking about Lion King here?

SPEAKER_01 18:04

It was about a young prince who was tricked by his evil uncle into Oh, it's the Lion King. Thinking that his dad died because of him. He ran away from his troubles.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

I just saw this movie and I still think it's disturbing.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Ran away from his troubles, said a kuna matata means no worries for the rest of your life. But then a girlfriend for the rest of your days. A girl came in his wife's life, and we all know that girls mean trouble. Trouble.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Helping you out of the holes.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

And they uh, you know, he came back, he confronted his troubles. His uncle died in a bit of Scheidenfreude, which, you know, funny, funny, funny, funny. Uh sad that, you know, people die, but uh it's he became king. Luckily, he's an animated lion. It's a great, great lesson that you can't run from your troubles. You have to face your destiny, overcome. And then the last one comes from Polynesia, and this one was particularly inspiring to me. And I've learned this a lot of times. It's about a young girl who doesn't know who she is, but ventures forth across the ocean, restores the heart of Tafiti.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Yeah, what's the lesson?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Brings nature back into balance and restores her island. And you know, you can't be forced by your parents to be something you're not. You have to go make your own destiny, find your own place in the world, venture. It's really great. I think Moana's an inspiration for all of us. So I found five really good news stories that are heartwarming tales of humanity.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

But none of those are news stories. Because is there nothing good happening in the world right now?

SPEAKER_01 19:41

You could take it that way.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Could you see that Nick and I struggled with this segment?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Do you know what the real takeaway is, Bridget?

SPEAKER_02 19:48

Just don't.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

I just don't mess with Maui when he's on a breakaway.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Oh, I was like, that was one dad joke, too money. All right, we're back. I thought you were gonna sing. No, I'm over. We're new here. I'm no more singing from me. That's a different podcast. I'll start singing. I did start singing Hakun Matata as soon as you said the wrong lyrics. I love that song. Means no worry. All right, I'm telling you, while Nick sings hakuna matata in the background about some candles. I know we've talked about candles on here before, okay? We use candles, we burn candles every day. And so we we definitely have like our nice candles that we burn when friends are coming over. And then we have our very potent candles that we want to burn when we're covering up a smell of like roasted broccoli because I love roasted broccoli. But anyway, Aldi has some bomb candles. They're $4 and they're three wicks. And yes, I purchase candles from my friend who makes candles. I purchased them from the local candle mercantile in Lake Geneva. They're great. I purchase all of the lovely, wonderful candles, but I like feel bad.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

I like the Haverly ones.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Yep, that's Emily. Yep, my friend who makes them. So I love hers. Um, so we love those candles, but I save those for like nice times when I have people over. But when I'm just like at home working, I'm burning an Aldi candle because it burns all day. Four bucks. They're their Huntington Home is the brand, but they just came out with their fall scents, and I don't care for pumpkin spice, so I didn't buy that. No, it's Covington House. Yeah, man, Coveton, Covington House, isn't that right? Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert. Yeah, is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Doesn't Huntington Home sound like a fake Huntington Home.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

I mean, Aldi is fancy, man.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

I mean, I feel like we should come up with Shropshire Shossages.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Shropshire, yes. Shropshire Shostage Shack coming soon. To a neighborhood near you. Aldi candles, Huntington Home, four bucks. You can burn them all day, and they actually smell, and they smell delish. So pop into your local Aldi and pick yourself up an Aldi candle.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

I told everybody that I was gonna listen to some acid jazz as I did my reorganizing. And not quite to the level of acid jazz, but I would like to recommend to you the music of Buddy Rich. You can find him on Spotify, you can find him on Apple Music, Title, Pandora, all of the things, but he is the greatest jazz drummer to ever live. Some people wish to debate that, and that's a fairly unpopular opinion that he is not the greatest jazz drummer to ever live. Uh seems to be uh has some anger issues, but I feel like being a drummer is good if you have anger issues, right? Because you can just like I used to want one.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

What does that or I used to want to be a drummer? What does that say about me?

SPEAKER_01 22:46

He I mean I could have told you that. Um he uh famously had a drum battle against the uh the animal on Muppets. Oh, famous, huh? And uh look Google it, Buddy Rich vs. the animal. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

I'm very busy coming up with questions to stump you.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Uh uh. Anyway, uh it's a really fun type of jazz. Uh he doesn't get super crazy into like people going in insane esoteric solos. It's still like fun music to listen to, kind of a bright, aggressive form of jazz. So if you want to get into jazz, help clear head. Buddy Rich.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Buddy Rich.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Buddy Rich Big Band. Check it out.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

All right. This week. We thought we'd give you a little bit of a break.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Are we gonna take a break? Are we? Yeah, we take a break. You know, after week.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

Sorry, I was so excited.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Well, I we don't have to. Let's keep going. We only have to play the break music once.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

It's not on the outline, you guys. Is it? There's no break on the outline. No, there's not. We're gonna fight on airbox.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

You're right, you're right, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Yeah, I know. I only fight fights I know I'm gonna win, Nick. Okay, did you miss us? We're back. Just kidding. We never left. We're gonna talk about stumping Nick this week because he's read me some pretty ridiculous Reddit things the last couple weeks. And you know, I'm not on Reddit regularly uh ever. Oh, so you're a lurker? Painful to look at. Um, I've downloaded and deleted the Reddit app multiple times. I like try, but it is so painful to look at that I'm like, no, I'm why am I bothering?

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Maybe I should go and ask Reddit and say, is there so there are like skins and apps that access it. Is there one that makes this more visually appealing? Visually appealing for people that visual appeal is why they're on this.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

That's I would like to look up the proper statistics of how many men are on Reddit versus women. Yeah, if only I know, but I just can't multitask like that and still pay attention. Okay, I'm kicking things. So this week, instead of Reddit, we are going to do is Nick smarter than a fifth grader.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

23% of US males use Reddit, 12% of women use Reddit.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

But of the total Reddit users.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

So that means it's 6633.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

That's not as widely split as I would have thought. Does that include lurkers? Do you have to like when you register, do you have to say if you're a male or a child?

SPEAKER_01 25:08

I think I do, yeah. I mean, I think you have the option to.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

I imagine.

unknown 25:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Reddit's very progressive. I'm gonna look further into the quizzing me.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

We are so um, you know, it's back to school. Back to school. I I anticipate hopefully not a lot of hard kindergarten homework to help Elliot with, but man. I'm terrified about that. When it gets to like second, third, fourth grade. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to help him with like, I don't know, fractions. I don't know. I don't know when you do that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

I think you do like geometry in second grade. Like, this is a triangle, this is a trapezoid, this is a room.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

I know that.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

I know like what a square is, a pentagon.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Oh, please. Your daughter probably knows what a trapezoid is. My kids do. But this is the thing. You're like, oh, uh, I don't quite remember what a trapezoid is. I know I knew.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

I think it's got four sides and has but the all two of the sides are uneven. I think that's a good thing. That's the thing, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

I'm nervous for homework. So are we sure we want to go to fifth grade? Yeah, let's go to fifth grade. Okay. We're these are broken down into category. Okay. We're gonna start with your favorite, of course. Math. Nope. History. Okay, let's do it. And social studies, okay? We're just gonna pick two from each category. I I think we'll maybe throw a bonus in, okay? I'm just gonna turn my computer here, Nick. Um, I can't believe a fifth grader would know this. I'm just gonna say. Um, what was the most widely grown crop in the middle colonies?

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Rice.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Wheat. Really? Why do you think rice?

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Uh, because the middle colonies were like Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina. They're settled by English people that couldn't do things. Yeah, see, I knew you wouldn't have an answer. They uh originally grew wheat. I mean, maybe it changed to wheat. But uh Shall I check my source? That was where you didn't want to be a slave because the rice plantations were the worst of all of them.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Okay, see, Nick Nick will know the answer to all of these, which is why Nick is doing this and not me. Except you're wrong according to my source here. Crazy. It's not very well factored.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

They were very um like cash crop colonies too, because it was like rice and tobacco and calico. They grew a lot of calico.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

I'm not gonna try and have this discussion.

unknown 27:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

The modern day city of Istanbul was known by what name in the 13th century.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

It would have been Constantinople and then Byzantium and then Istanbul. Okay, show off.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

You were right with the first one, thanks. Well, because it changed.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

Because it's if it was after um the Byzantiums took over or not. Did you guys know that about the what was it before Constantineople? But anyway, it was there's always been a settlement there at the I'm gonna let him tell you about it while I anyway, named after the Roman Emperor Constantine, who separated the Eastern and Western Roman Empires and brought Christianity to the Roman Empire on his deathbed.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Did you guys know? In case you need to help your fifth grader on homework, we're giving you a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

I always love the deathbed conversion of like, hmm, uh, you know, not really been into this whole like Christianity thing, but I'm gonna be dead in about a day, so let's just do it. In a day. Let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

I'm gonna say that the English ones are significantly easier as a whole. All right, let's go. Um all right, two English slash language arts questions for you, Nick. What is the antonym? What is an antonym for beautiful? Pretty, gorgeous, or ugly? Ugly. Tough one, huh?

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Why? You ain't got no alibi.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Yeah, these ones are much easier. Okay. Who maybe that's because history wasn't a strong suit of mine. Who is the author of the 1960 novel about social and racial inequality to kill a mockingbird?

unknown 28:47

You know.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Harper Lee. Yes. Woo-woo! 100% on the English. I almost said Gregory Peck. I was like, think about it, you know the answer to this. This is my issue, is I know the answer to all of these, but I cannot get them when I'm put on the spot. Yeah, okay, we're never doing this to me because I'll be embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

We're moving on to the city.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Maybe we could do smarter than a first grader.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Nope. Are you smarter than Elliot?

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Let's get Elliot on. And he'll be like, no, mom. Name that dinosaur. This is where it starts. I remember before Elliot was of dinosaur loving age, I had friends, kids that were like, yes, this is a trapezoidosaurus. We're just, you know, talking about trapezoids. And it is a plant eater. And I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_00 29:27

I don't know what that is. Anyway, we're in that moment of our life.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Um, how do you feel about science?

SPEAKER_00 29:34

I I love science. Do you? Okay, so work in a science-based industry.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

Yeah, there's no there's no meat questions here, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

You know, in college, my science my lab science class was a meat science class.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Was it really? Yeah. Food science. Oh, in college. I was like, wait, was that an option?

SPEAKER_01 29:50

I was like, easiest class ever. I took for my like end research paper, I took all the things I did for our food safety plan and just like mildly tweaked it. It's like supposed to be like a two-week project. Yeah. And I took it up like 30 minutes later, I'm like, boom.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

I'm just gonna use every edit.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

And the professor's like, this is really well sourced. Most people, I'm like, Yeah, I own it.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Did he know what your family business was? I told him then. Then I admitted. Here you go. This is where I sourced it. Our our successful family business has proven this works. Okay. Science questions, not meat related. What are the three states of matter?

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Uh solid, gas, and liquid.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

That's correct, Nick. Great job. Plasma's a fourth. Is it really?

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Why did that get added at some point?

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Well, it's like how Uranus is sometimes a planet and sometimes not. Uranus? Pluto. I just want to say Uranus.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Oh, I was like, I'm sorry. Are you gonna fight me about the way this is stated? Am I wrong? Your anus. Okay. That was like a 12-year-old boy joke. Sorry. This one, I gotta be honest with you, I would not have gotten. Um, so you know. Which tool is used to estimate the likelihood of certain genetic outcomes? It is a shape. So it's, you know, um like a name of a formula, if you will, but it but it ends in a shape. Yeah, I know this was a tough one.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

I if it's a shape, like the only thing that I could think of that would be like genetic is like double helix something.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

Okay, so that was a good guess, but it's the Punit Square P-U-N-N-E-T-T. Okay, I'm sorry. Right, that's what I was like. Did you know that? Is this a new thing since we were in school?

SPEAKER_00 31:25

I was like sophomore year biologist.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

I was fully ready to feel like a dummy there. I was like, I definitely would never have gotten this one. Did anyone out there know it? Be honest. Nope. Okay, I had no clue. Okay, we're going to geography. Ooh, geography. I feel like it's a strong suit of yours.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

I lost the uh district uh geography B, which I should have won. I was asked what the largest swamp in Florida was. I said the Evergrades.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Yeah. It's the Okie Fanoki swamp. Okie Finoke University.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

And the kid, the kid that won got like, uh, what's a river that goes through New Orleans? He's like, um, is it the Mississippi? Like, because it was like to the point where like he got five wrong to this point, and I got no wrong, but the format was like one versus one. I'm like, no, I literally got one very hard question wrong, and you got five easy ones right, and not no. Not bitter. Not bitter.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

What what grade was that?

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Eighth grade. A few years ago. Not bitter. But I mean, now you know Okie Kenoki. What is it? Okie finoki. Okie finoke.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

Who would have known that? Not bitter. I also would have said Everglades, so great job. Okay. Geography.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

This tea is bitter though.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Yeah, seriously. I can't believe you're a bitter bitter palate. How many countries are in North America? Three. Twenty-three. Canada, United States, Mexico, all of the sovereign states in the Caribbean and Central America. Who would have known? I really thought you would have to be.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

I mean, should I fact check it? No, that's right. Oh, I was like, should I have to get it? I forgot Central America counts. Like you don't have to sound so defeated.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

No one would have gotten that. Not no one, a fifth grader, I guess, would have gotten that. Drat.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

I need to know more about this show. Who comes up with these questions? Teachers? Teachers. It's gotta be like a director of curriculum. I mean, just listen to my latest amoose boosh if you want to hear what I have to say about teachers.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

Okay. Um which North American city has a bigger population, Los Angeles or Mexico City? It's a tricky one. And really just a guess.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Meijho de Fe.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

That is correct, Nick. Yeah, I think you were thinking through that one. What was your thought process?

SPEAKER_01 33:42

Um well, because it comes down to metropolitan areas and how the counting is done a little bit. So if it's just city population, um Mexico City is like a an enormous uh geographical area uh for the actual city. But Los Angeles, when we think of Los Angeles, we think of like Orange County and Los Angeles County, and like Burbank and uh, you know, Long Beach. So I think the actual metropolitan area is bigger for Los Angeles, but we can look at this.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Nick is fact-checking. We're on our final round when this is fact-checked.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

There's also a lot of people in Mexico City.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

Yeah, that was my whole thought, was just like, well.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

No, Mexico City is actually the third largest metropolitan area in the world. It's bigger than New York. All right. So yeah, it's bigger than everything. Um there are 20 million four hundred and fifty thousand people there, and the Los Angeles Metro has fifteen million two hundred and fifty thousand. Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Ooh, God bless you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

New York is the next is the biggest American one. It has 20 million give or take.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

Okay. Let's go. Are you ready for grammar and spelling questions? Hell yeah. What is the past tense of put? Put. That's correct, Nick. This is I just think like I pat that there.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

I mean, are we talking about American English or Louisiana English? Rude.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

In the sentence, for your final question, in the sentence, quote, Sally is a very good drummer, end quote. What part of speech is the word very? Sally is a very good drummer. Adverb. Adverb, Nick, finishing out strong here. Woo-hoo! Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs. I will say Lally, Lally, Lolly, get your adverbs here. Out of ten total questions, Nick. Eight.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Three were wrong. Seven were correct. Oh, I got the DNA one wrong. Punette square. I got the How do you say that? Punit? I don't know. Um, the North America and the wheat, which is debatable. Let's say two and a half.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

I got history and geography wrong, which are my strong subjects.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Well, listen, because I made you nervous and spelling bees and bees like this are generally trick questions, okay? Wow. You guys, I hope I never have to be on the receiving end of uh are you smarter than uh anything.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Are you smarter than an Elliot? Do you know what I'm not smarter than? What? Tomatoes. Tell me about your tomatoes.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

I just won't talk about tomatoes. Oh god, that was a bad transition, but I want to talk about tomatoes. So I was having this discussion with Kate, our produce person, uh, because we grow tomatoes, she grows tomatoes, Nick, our other Nick, our kitchen guy, grows tomatoes. Oh. And we're just eating all the tomato things. Like I'm putting them on steaks, I'm putting them on chicken, I'm making salads out of them, I'm uh making pasta sauce, I'm doing all the things with tomatoes. And the great thing about Wisconsin is that we elected a socialist governor in the early 1900s. Wait, no. The great thing. The great thing is we have these incredibly ripe tomatoes in late August, September, and our cucumbers and our onions and all this like perfectly beautifully ripened produce the way God intended it to be ripened in the dirt. From the good or like, you know, moderate sunshine throughout the thing, and then eventually it gets hot and just like bakes off the sugars, and boom, it's delicious. Boom. So we were discussing if you, you know, lived in like San Diego, where it's 78 and sunny year-round, do your tomatoes ever taste so good?

SPEAKER_00 37:17

You get delicious citrus. I'm more of a tomato guy than a. That does not surprise me. I'm more of a citrus person.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

So, anyway, I just want to say, my god, I love tomatoes. If if you're in this wherever, go get your tomatoes right now. If you're in California, if you're in the Midwest. Get a Wisconsin tomato and tell me if it tastes like a California tomato. Send us some avocados. Ooh, I like avocados. Bridget makes an incredible.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

I know. I've I know. I Googled some recipe that Nick seems to really like.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Well, you like bring it to stuff, and I always look forward to it because it goes with everything. It's corn and avocado and tomato.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

It's just like so it's not the like cowboy caviar, I think people call it, which is full of black beans. Yeah. So this does not have black beans, and it is freaking delicious. You put like I don't know, I don't remember lemon, lime, salt, probably. I think all that. No lemon. Lime and salt. Yep. Whatever. It's really good. Now I would like it for lunch.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

I would too. Okay, I'll go find the recipe. We have Mexican street corn at uh work meeting.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Yeah, I saw that. Dang. Okay. Also, great time for corn here in the Midwest. Um, I'm fully immersed in school lunchtime. This was a cold slap in the face that I need like um school lunches. I also need a snack, and if he has cross-country practice, which is what they call running in kindergarten, is cross-country. Then I also need a snack and a beverage for that. So I have like, here's your lunchbox, here's your snack bag for school, here's your practice snack bag. So I've become, um, I did get one of the bento boxes. I don't know which brand I got, some whatever. But I love it because I'm not using um plastic bags for a whole bunch of stuff. You know, they all have their own little compartments, but I have been like, it's been three days of school, you guys. And today I made a peanut butter and jelly on a tortilla, wrapped it up, sliced it so it kind of looks like sushi and put it in there. And man, Elliot was pumped. I made him some hard-boiled eggs. I was really mom and hard on the school lunch today, only because we didn't have bread for the peanut butter and jelly. So I put it on a tortilla. I like it. Uh, which Elliot loved. He had like a bite of it at breakfast. Uh, you know, I made some eggs because I feel like we have basically no food in our house right now because I'm not on school lunch brain yet. And so I don't have like all my proper snacks. So school lunch brain. If you have some great advice about what to pack for school lunches so we don't get bored, please let me know. So yeah, that's right. That's all I'm cooking these days is peanut butter and jellies and turkey sandwiches and string cheese, basically, and grapes.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Well, on that note, should we go to Kid Corner? If you're watching on video, you saw that I was distracted right down because of what I want to talk about with Kid Corner. Oh, Jesus. We our kids go to the same daycare, and uh we instituted this new app that does communication and things and stuff. It's called Hi Mama, which I refer to as Hi Data because I will I refuse to be misgendered. I am the one that threw a fit about that. I refuse to be misgendered. If people can say that their preferred pronouns are whatever the hell they want on Twitter, I can it is only a matter of time.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Let's make the app whatever I want it to be. I also feel feisty about this app for other reasons.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

And to be clear, if you want to be called they, whatever. I don't care, I'll call you they. Um, but anyway, I love it because I get all these updates throughout the day. Oh, Simona pooped. Oh, Simona's taking a nap. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

This is why Nick has looked at his phone ten times in this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

I like to see what she's doing. I have only one child, and she is the light of my life.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

Sounds about right.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

And uh she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But do you need to know when she pees? No, that I don't actually really need to know. But I do like they send pictures through it of like what they're doing in the day. Sometimes I see Lucy.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Yeah, sometimes they send you other kids.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Which that one's a little weird. But you know, Well, we signed a release.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

We all signed a release that said, do it.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

Uh you know, I like it. I like seeing what she's doing. I actually really like when they send they send a picture of what they eat for lunch. And I like that because then I don't make that for dinner because I don't want my darling precious little baby girl to have to have the same thing for lunch and dinner. God forbid. It's a horror story, okay?

SPEAKER_02 41:23

I feel a little differently about this app. I feel that we get a lot of updates on it. And if you have more than one kid at daycare, you get it twice. Ooh, that's great. And you get reminded that you have an invoice ten times, even though it's on autopay. And I do have to say that I have, I guess, maybe a parenting pro tip. So if you live in the area, every Wednesday we get these like junk mail um like saver newspapers. You know, it's the newspaper with all of the ads from grocery stores and whatever. We don't do that. We don't, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

It's thousands of dollars. I always like look at that, I'm like, how do you how do you justify that? Like, how could you possibly make enough money?

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Because people must I sh I call it junk mail, but I guess people probably of a different generation do wait for that to like plan their grocery shopping.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Can you package that ground beef and quarter pound packages?

SPEAKER_02 42:12

And it's also on a Wednesday, which is not when I'm like planning my grocery shopping.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

So our sale stuff goes out on Wednesday? I know, but I'm not planning my grocery shopping then. Do you plan your grocery shopping?

SPEAKER_02 42:23

I do since curbside pickup. Honestly, I try. I'm not very good at it. Um, okay. But anyway, I I usually pull like we also garbage goes out on Wednesdays by my house. So I go and to like pull the garbage cans back in and I get the mail at the same time, and I usually transfer this newspaper directly into the recycling bin and walk it back to my house. But one week Elliot was getting the mail with me and got so excited about these grocery store ads. So every week on Wednesdays, we have it's like Aldi, Pigly Wiggly, Fleet Farm, I don't know, maybe pick and save. And Elliot reads them and he's like, Grapes are 99 cents this week, mom. And then he's picked out beer, he's whatever. But he will go through these. He took them in the bathroom on the toilet the other day.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

What a man.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

And he, but what what I'm being in all seriousness here, he's learned, he has learned dollar amounts from these. Like he looks at it and he goes, What is like, why is the one bigger than the 99? I'm like, well, it's $1.99. And then after 99 cents becomes $2. And that is how we have been learning currency at five years old. I don't know when you're supposed to learn it. Maybe he's behind.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

But maybe he can come and help me on Monday but play Elliot's grocery games.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

We'll be at the fair. Ooh, Elliot would love that. I'm just saying, these grocery ads, it's alcohol's cheaper, like even country meats.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Just saying.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

That's true. Um, it's a it's a fun, like little learning tool. And that, you know, we've been hearing a lot about my darling Lucy. And so here's a little bit about Elliot and how we're teaching him with junk mail. Well, guys, that's a parenting pro tip. I love it. Parenting pro tip with Bridget. I was thinking about it, and I'm like, this is funny. I'm not I'm not an A plus parent, and I'm giving parenting pro tips. Okay, everybody. Everyone has a parenting pro tip they can share.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Even Nick. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. It was so lovely to have a nice positive episode filled with tales of heroes and heroines overcoming unfortunate circumstances. To could you imagine if you're Hermione Grager? Can I just like for one second say you're like a genius? You're a B A M F and you have to put up with Ron and Harry shit all the time. I mean, that's why she's gonna be. And you get lumped in with them. If I I mean, obviously a female wrote this book. Uh J.K. Rowling has expressed some views that maybe tell why she is perpetuating the trope of the like exasperated smart girl. Um but man, Hermione Granger, she's my she's my dream girl. She's on my list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

You get five people on your list.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

I mean, also Emma Watson, like in real life, you're like, how old is she?

SPEAKER_00 44:59

She's like 12. No, she's like 20. I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

28, 29.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Just kidding. Again, if only we have that's how Lucy goes. She goes, just kidding. Emma Watson age.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

Ooh. She's 31. She's basically your age.

unknown 45:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

Watch out, Sarah. Watch out, Sarah.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Thanks for listening this week, guys. We hope you have a pleasant week ahead.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

We do hope you have a pleasant week.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

We did a great Labor Day weekend. Um, I might go with the Barbacoa Pit. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

Whoa, if he does, we'll tell you about it next week.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

We'll tell you all about how I buried a whole pig out down there and lit some fire. It's gonna be great. Send us the pig will be dead. Just be clear.

unknown 45:41

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

Uh if you have anything interesting to say or you want to yell at Nick about burying a pig, uh send us a note at hello at dinnerplusdrinks.com.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Follow us Facebook, Instagram. If I do roast a whole pig in an underground pit, I might do it on an Instagram live. You should.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

An IG Live.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Hey guys, Nick here. It's uh three in the morning. I'm just roasting my pig. Pulling up the banana leaves to uh take a look at the pig. Oh my god. Please do this. Looks like the fires uh there's a lot of guys that do these barbecue lives and they're all so terrible. And it's like, uh hey guys, uh, you know, we're in our seventh cook.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

Oh, I'm just putting some more sauce on.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

Uh five beers. You know, it's our five beer at the cook. Uh oh my god. And uh no, no, I don't know. I'm gonna poke it. Do you what do you guys think? You think, can you see that? Oh no, it's on my face, not the picture. Let me flip the preview of what's to be. I don't know. So let us know what you guys are doing. We hope you have a great weekend. It's the last hurrah of summer. Bye bye, summer. Bye bye, summer, and bye-bye, listeners.